I got fired from my job today



Courtesy YourDailyDish.com

I got fired from  my job today. You would expect me to be sad and worried. I’m a little worried; a lot pissed off. But mostly I’m hopeful. It’s really a great comfort knowing so many people who respond when I tell them, “I just got fired.” But there’s always that one telling that gives anxiety; the one to which the response matters most: to the parents.

Texted mom, “I just got fired”. Worried about the telephone call coming from her in 15 minutes. Worried that she won’t like my feeling that losing my job is an opportunity. Worried that she won’t like my plan, my ideas, or the direction I want to go. Worried that she will feel exasperated, again, by her flighty daughter who never seems to finish what she starts, who always jumps without open eyes or cautious thoughts about what she is doing.

Here I am, writing not fast enough, to tell you how wrong I was. How happy I am to be so wrong. I will never ever, as long as I live, forget her words. “Your life is SO interesting. I love your friends, how you are with them and they with you. I love your town, despite how remote it is for my tastes. I love all the things you do and how you involve yourself in living. You have such a great life and I love it and you so much. I have never known anyone, ever, to rise from the ashes as swiftly and beautifully like the phoenix as you have done…always you have risen.”

 

I have the most wonderful mother in the world. I am always surprised by how wonderful she is, but I shouldn’t be.  

And today I rise again; two hours after being fired. Two hours after feeling rejected, unappreciated, and a fool for believing that all that I did, mattered. One hour after realizing, what a great opportunity it is to be free. Free from the grips of a place in the dark that prevented my growth. The eclipse is over and I’m free to shine, not as I always have, but even brighter.

 

 

Speaking of fire, the sky is darkening and looking like rain here in Arnold, California.  Unfortunately it is a more dangerous sign of a pyrocumulus (well maybe it's a cloud created by a wildfire.) Just over the Ebbetts Pass, in Markleeville, is a wildfire that is only 3 miles from the nearest town and spreading fast. As of this morning it is 10% contained at more than 17,000 acres burned.  Say a prayer for the firefighters and nearby residents (including the critters.) I really hope it doesn't go up Highway 4; we might be sunk if it does.

 

Pro-crastination, I'm an expert

Everywhere I look, around me I see all the procrastination. Why do I do it? I feel guilty and overwhelmed for not doing what I need to do, and overwhelmed by the feelings of inadequacy to do those things to begin with. On the other hand I tell myself that I'm not really putting things off, but processing them through thought in the back ground. Where is the BS? I'm not sure, but thinking about it all just ruins this otherwise perfectly gloomy, rainy day.

Regardless, I am blessed. I have a loving mom and son, great friends, and social networks that support me. I was featured on three ETSY treasuries yesterday! Skaan's Spring Has Sprung, JewelryByTamar's Can I Please Have Honey Mustard Salad Dressing, and RenataAndJonathan's Having Friends Is Cool. I've heard that the more comments and clicks a treasury receives, the more likely that treasury will appear on the ETSY home, or "front", page.

Thinking of treasuries reminded me of a web site I once knew about that would look up your name and report any treasuries you were in. A little search for the web site landed me in a place called Craftopolis. I'm going to check it out. Supposedly they use google analytics to report a lot of different aspects of activity on your ETSY site; but then again, ETSY has a lot of new features that do that for you already.

Speaking of activity on ETSY, I have a circle of artist friends that is growing and growing. I have decided to create a treasury featuring my faves from my new friends. Go visit and comment and click: Rings n' Things, Bobbles n' Bling, Jewelry in all Things

Cloudy With a Chance for Sunshine

It's a cloudy day, both physically and figuratively. There's a State of the Nation and a State of the State Address (both of which I avoid watching and being depressed by), and today I realized there's a State of the Town Address...reality slapping you in the face on your drive to the post office where you eventually run into every one who lives in the small town of Arnold, California. How sad to see a minimum of 8 business either for sale or rent in one small 2 mile stretch. How are we going to survive this economy?! In a moment I go from "Wow, there are so many opportunities" to "Wow, where is everyone going, and how are they surviving?"

I'm also continuing my journey to live fearlessly, but on a day like today I struggle with believing it isn't all just lala land diversions from the harsh reality of life. But, I have a choice and a voice. Reality is what we perceive it to be and it is possible to perceive opportunity in the face of hardship. And it is important to use my voice and let the Universe hear it, so today I say, if the sun won't come out to play, I'll play in the rain, joyously and optimistically. After all, what choice do I have but to live or die? Some say, "go with the flow"; dead fish go with the flow...I say, "Let's make a new wave!"

Okay, there's the pep talk. Now let's play with beads! I've been practicing stringer control. I am inspired by Melanie Moertel, JC Herrel, and Dora Schubert (to name a few). Yesterday I was reminded of Holly Cooper; she is truly the best lampworker in the world when it comes to stringer control!

Today I installed and began playing with Craft Board, the online jewelry designing program. I'm trying to understand from the points of view of both a buyer and a seller. It is a completely free program and can be used online or offline. There seem to be a lot of options, and no immediate "tutorial", so it will take a while to check it out. I did find a button that sent me to their blog; it seems to be a constant work in process with the last post in December stating that January would be a "boring" month. I subscribed and hope to see a new post soon, since January is over.

In the mean time I want to play with beads. I want to make jewelry. I want to show you the first piece of jewelry I made with my own, beginner's lampwork beads. It is the same necklace I sold the other day.
It is an 8-strand necklace strung on Beadalon stringing wire. Each strand is made with a different combination of gold lined seed beads, seashell chips, rose quartz, agates, amethyst crystals, lampwork rondelles (which you can custom order from me), deep purple metallic cut bugles, purple fire polished faceted ovals, fire polished green/blue seed beads, etched purple rounds, light pink silver lined bugles, seed-pod-shaped purple glass beads, purple metallic pearls, rose quartz seed beads, and lavender disks, and a carved, flower shaped, pua shell focal. The focal is secured by copper metal rings to a bail made from looped seed bead and crystal strand. Strands end with faceted light green metallic ovals and are attached to a silver 3 loop bar clasp.

I've linked the components to the Rings & Things catalogue. When I couldn't find the exact bead I linked to a suitable substitute. It only took an hour to find ALL these components! I followed David's image-search suggestion he left in comments to my They Say The Truth Hurts... post. I love it when people leave comments on my blog!

So, spread a little sunshine and "follow" my blog (click on the right column) or play joyfully in the rain and leave a comment! And when you do both, you make a rainbow in my life!