Thursday, February 21, 2013


Yesterday morning I was catching up on The Mindy Project. Forgive me please, I'm bad at names. In this episode Mindy's partner, the macho-obstinate-lone-wolf-type-doc tries to help Mindy as an "authority" on television (she's invited to do local news medical-minute-type spots). Mindy was chosen for this because she is who she is -- the audience could empathize with her. The helping doc coaches her out of being who she is, and into being "status quo" -- who he thinks she should be. He is well meaning and wants her to succeed but doesn't see  his own issues in the process.
We give power and authority to others instead of to our selves; we praise and idolize and desire to be "them" instead of who we are. Danielle LaPorte and Marie Forleo had a great "rapid fire Q & A" and addressed that in a different way. Danielle discusses adulation and how she handles it the same way as she handles criticism: "I just did the best I could do in a given moment". Marie handles adulation by stating that success is a choice, not something she "gave" to her fans -- THEY made the choices and did the work.
In my experience, whenever I've been sincere in my admiration, people are turned off. This has been detrimental to becoming a teacher. Why is it so uncomfortable to be admired? Why don't we want to be special? What if we just learned to accept the truth about our differences, greatness, and magnetism? Would we stop complimenting those we give power to?
If we idolized our selves, would we start taking credit for what we do? Would we all become more similar in our differences, and not stand out so much? Would the world become a place where we all make a difference to the point that it becomes common place? Isn't that what we want? 
If what we want is positive diversity, it is right that we not accept responsibility for the greatness others inappropriately bestowed on us; if we want more great people they must accept that THEY are the great ones.

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Tell Me How You REALLLLY Feel

My Core Desired Feelings -- in progress
I've been taking my time with The Desire Map, a program to help you make goals based on how you want to feel when you achieve them (rather than what you want in order to feel the way you want to feel). The shift in my attitude, thinking, and actions has been profound. I find that I have more faith in the Universe to provide what I need, and making decisions is much easier. I have also noticed how alike people are; we often think no one will understand our "situations".

There is an open Face Book group and a Pinterest board for The Desire Map. I wanted to share some of the posts that have touched me, and often that I have identified with.

Melissa Butcher's doggy knows!
Oh, to have the life of a often have you wished it? There's more to it than your initially realize. When I saw this picture, I realized how much our furry friends really know about how to have a life. The essence of your desire is a feeling...ultimately of love.

Another feeling I often find among Desire Mappers is Powerful, and those feelings related to "Powerful", like the desire to Change the World!  Marie Forleo's business is business. She's offering a way to scholarships in her Amazing online B-School. Desire Mapper Shauna Brandes hopes to earn a scholarship, and change the world of childbirth. She's so empowered with The Desire Map, she (and several others) is leaving her full time job to pursue her dreams and desires!

Desire Mapping in real time!
Desire mappers have been getting creative in their lives, whether it's Pinterest or video; here's one of my favorite creators among the Desire Mappers. Lou Niestat chronicled her day trip on the train, with her father, and it is just amazing!!!! She sketches and notates during the action and fills in colorful details afterward in journal style. This day trip is just one of her "musings". Please look at all her work; it's in action, living the life desired.

Realizing the desire to finish a project

Laura Boyd Stadig quilted her Core Desired Feelings into this amazing, hand sewn and painted piece.

Grace Quantock created a photo album that chronicled a singled day with her Desire Map and then blogged about her epiphanies, especially how she "Escaped My To-Do List."

Do lists rule your life?

Centered on the Fulcrum by
And I've been creative too! Aside from writing, I've also been zentangling and creating strong image collage/poems. Most significantly, I too want to change the world; I am an Advocate, and a very very good one at that! I downloaded an awesome mind mapping program, The Brain, and I'm doing research and creating a plan to get paid for what I do well. Most recently a friend called on me to advocate for her when she found out she had breast cancer; she's having a double radical mastectomy today. In the process of working on her behalf I discovered a program that the doctors should have known about, figured out how to implement it, and shared my discoveries with the doctors who now are able to offer the program to their own patients. So, I'm getting into action on getting paid for what I do so well.

Oh, and I'm still making beads and jewelry. My birthday necklace is almost ready to show you, and it's amaaaazing!