Wednesday, July 8, 2015

You Should Get Over it

photo of sleepless thoughts voices german advocay monarae-beads
Courtesy Flickr.com KaMa Photography
I'm up waaaay too early! Thoughts about being fired and why and who and why, why, why keep me awake.  Did I have a dream about it which spilled into my waking moments?


photo of sleepless thoughts voices german advocay broken toe monarae-beads
Courtesy Flickr.com Becky Striepe
My foot is killing me; broken? Noticing a gap on the right between toes that isn't matched on the left foot, I taped the toes together. It lessened the nerve pain, but it really hurts this morning; but not enough to drown out the emotional pain of rejection from a job I rocked at. Yes; I rocked it, but still got fired. Such a struggle with the inner voice that wants to find me at fault.



photo of sleepless thoughts voices german advoca monarae-beads
Courtesy Flickr.com Iqbal Osman
Thank God for the will to bring the voices of my mom, my friends, my champions, and my soul. The voice that calls me a phoenix. The voice that says, "Thank you so much for your help; what would I do without you!" The voice that says, "You will be okay; follow your passion." The voice that says, "You can do this. You SHOULD do this." Thank God for the "should"; because left to my would at this moment, I would find myself going through the routine of working for someone else who doesn't recognize how much I rock.


photo of sleepless thoughts voices german advocay easy street monarae-beads
Courtesy Flickr.com Erica Zabowski

Why would I wish for the comfort of that monotony and dependence? Because it is easy. Because it requires no thought, no faith, no courage; it repays me with mediocrity, lack of passion, and bills being paid.

Thank GOD for the "should"(NEVER thought I'd say that!). I should push through and do what I need to do to make it work. I should also look at how I've pushed through every day, researching, organizing, and making positive strides. I should look at how much closer I get every day to making my passion into a business that will grow my soul and bring comfort to others in a HUGE way. I should keep going. I should keep pushing through.

photo of sleepless thoughts voices education college berkeley advocay easy street monarae-beads
I have decided that I should enroll in the UC Berkeley Extension program for Health Advocacy. I don't know how I'll pay for it. The first class is on August 8; only one day in San Francisco. Only $300.00 plus the expenses for travel and sleep.

I have decided that I should join the Association of Professional Health Advocates. I've decided that I should begin my business plan. I've decided that I should change the world by giving peace of mind to others, even when it feels in this moment that I don't know how to give peace of mind to myself. I've decided that today is another day that I will walk in possibilities and successes and destiny.



photo of sleepless thoughts voices education college berkeley advocay satisfaction art monarae-beads
Courtesy Flickr.com Alex Proimos

As I look for pics for this blog I'm immediately rewarded with a smile.  My mom will appreciate the sleepless photo with the German thought bubbles! I think I get more pleasure out of finding pics for my blog than the writing itself. The writing is healing, but the art is fulfilling. Flickr.com is a great way to find pics that are free to use. Enter a search term, then click the pull down under licenses and choose "all creative commons."



photo of sleepless thoughts voices education college berkeley advocay satisfaction art monarae-beads
Courtesy Flickr.com Walkin Boston
ANSWER  THIS: 

How do you advocate for yourself in moments of disappointment or despair? What do you tell your self? How do you get through it?

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Thank you so much for taking the time to read my thoughts!