How to Find Love, and Keep it

Through Thick and Thin by Khari

 

Tears started flowing in the first 30 seconds of this video. Tears I COULD. NOT. STOP. It was as if someone else was crying. It WAS someone else crying. It was the true me; the one I hide from.

At first I was like, what’s up with these tears?! Then I was like, I want a man like that.

Flickr.com AndYaDontStop

 

When I shared this on Facebook I said, “If you can’t feel like this, if you can’t SAY this, then it isn’t love.”

 

 

I then realized, this little voice inside me was saying, if you can’t feel this way about yourself, if you NEED to hear this, then you can’t handle this kind of love.




Flickr.com Classic Film

I know I need to love myself. I think I do love myself. I’m proud of myself. I love my body, well most of it. But there is this perfection that I seek, that I cannot find, that keeps me from seeing what is truly there.

 

There is a part of me that has been taught that if I am fat, if I am ugly, if I am less than (fill in the blank), then I will not be loved; worse, I will lose whatever it is I think love is.

What touches me deeply in this video, is when he says, “I’m not going anywhere.” That is all I want; safety, loyalty, forever.



We Heart It.com

Lovers of women who are reading this, yes we need to love ourselves, but we need to be TOLD we are worthy of that love. We need to hear a voice that is LOUDER than our inner demons/ego. We need to hear it often, especially when we don’t believe it is true. Sure, we should love ourselves, but we are women, and we are taught not to trust in a society that historically, perhaps as far back as the first encoding of our DNA, that what we think is not important; only what they think about what they SEE is important. And actually, all the same is truly said to lovers of men.

 

Woman or man, you need to speak the truth about your love. Don’t take it for granted.