How to Find Love, and Keep it

Through Thick and Thin by Khari

 

Tears started flowing in the first 30 seconds of this video. Tears I COULD. NOT. STOP. It was as if someone else was crying. It WAS someone else crying. It was the true me; the one I hide from.

At first I was like, what’s up with these tears?! Then I was like, I want a man like that.

Flickr.com AndYaDontStop

 

When I shared this on Facebook I said, “If you can’t feel like this, if you can’t SAY this, then it isn’t love.”

 

 

I then realized, this little voice inside me was saying, if you can’t feel this way about yourself, if you NEED to hear this, then you can’t handle this kind of love.




Flickr.com Classic Film

I know I need to love myself. I think I do love myself. I’m proud of myself. I love my body, well most of it. But there is this perfection that I seek, that I cannot find, that keeps me from seeing what is truly there.

 

There is a part of me that has been taught that if I am fat, if I am ugly, if I am less than (fill in the blank), then I will not be loved; worse, I will lose whatever it is I think love is.

What touches me deeply in this video, is when he says, “I’m not going anywhere.” That is all I want; safety, loyalty, forever.



We Heart It.com

Lovers of women who are reading this, yes we need to love ourselves, but we need to be TOLD we are worthy of that love. We need to hear a voice that is LOUDER than our inner demons/ego. We need to hear it often, especially when we don’t believe it is true. Sure, we should love ourselves, but we are women, and we are taught not to trust in a society that historically, perhaps as far back as the first encoding of our DNA, that what we think is not important; only what they think about what they SEE is important. And actually, all the same is truly said to lovers of men.

 

Woman or man, you need to speak the truth about your love. Don’t take it for granted.

How to Name Your Baby



Courtesy Flickr.com One Way Stock

I really need a name for my business and I can’t create a web site or new blog without one.  A name is so important!  When my father was in the hospital they kept mispronouncing our last name; how disrespectful to a man who was literally on his last breath!  Even The Bible makes a big deal about knowing the names of all who came before you. Look at the struggles we go through naming our children.



Courtesy Flickr.com Phantomswife

A name has to be just right. "Words are the voice of the Heart" 

What is just right for my business? The name must offer an answer to the need of the client. The name must convey a sense of being helped, listened to, rescued, relieved, comforted, and supported. My clients are in a quandary over money; bills that are too high when they shouldn’t be, bills that are unaffordable, bills that are confusing, and fear of losing estates and a lifetime of building inheritance and earnings. My clients are confused and at a lost to find resources, or even to know that they qualify for known resources. My clients are in emergent situations; they don’t have time, energy, or knowledge to deal with the medical system.

Trisha Torrey

I joined the Association of Professional Advocates, attended a call-in seminar, and bought a book. I’m half way through The Health Advocate’s Start & Grow Your Own Practice. The accompanying workbook, and its answers, are the beginnings of my business plan. I’m excited by my cash flow statement; I will only be $25,597 in debt by the end of month 13! I actually feel good about that. I never saw debt as a sign of growth.

 August 8 is the first class at UC Berkeley… having second thoughts about spending the money. I will figure it out. I projected six grand for my educational spending for the first year.

 


Free Showtime!

 

On other fronts, Showtime is free for 30 days on Hulu. I’m catching up on House of Lies, Shameless, and Ray Donovan. One of my tomato plants is not putting out new flowers! My zucchini and cucumbers are getting their first blooms. The weather is beautiful. My orchid has a brand new leaf!

 



Courtesy Flickr.com Walkn Boston

ANSWER THIS: What would you name my health advocate business? What words ring for you when I say,

“My advocacy provides financial and practical resources for you or your family members to help negotiate medical billing and auditing, doctor’s visits, hospital stays, insurance claims filing and appeals, diagnostic research, and estate and end of life planning. My allegiance is solely to you, not the hospital or insurance company. I find what you need in ongoing or emergency situations, with any health condition or status. I am your very own, personal advocate. I will fight for you.”?

I'm Having a Baby

Today I am researching Small Business Administration (SBA) resources. I’ve dreaded creating a business plan for years. Now I’m ready to dive. The SBA has a great online planning tool that lets me complete a plan at my own pace and guides me through all the necessary parts.

Courtesy Flickr.com Stephen Poff

The business plan is described by the SBA as a “living” plan; as if it is alive and breathing. What an “ah ha!” moment. People refer to their projects as their “baby.” My business plan is a living breathing baby; it is the DNA of my health advocacy business. What a cool way to think of it!

When someone raises a child and the child leaves home, they (we…I) experience “empty nest syndrome.” Often the cure to the syndrome is finding a new purpose or project or hobby or whatever…finding a new “baby.” The same thing happens when someone retires from a career.

 

Currently my son is 18 and entering his 2^nd year of college. I am not a typical empty nester because my son is still at home…well, sort of. At the local community college he has found a social life he didn’t get to experience in high school, so he is rarely home.  I get the security of knowing I will see him more than parents whose children are far away at school. I get the pseudo-security of letting him go more slowly; pseudo because it is a false sense…I couldn’t worry about him more if he were far away, than I do now.



Courtesy Flickr.com Laura Hartog

One of the things that happen when we experience the emptying of the nest is the space to fill with a new focus…a new baby. I recognize that growth away from my son and toward my new baby, myself, is the best thing I can teach my son. Just as I am proud of my own mother for the wonderful life she has created for herself, my son will be proud of me too. I now realize that the success I have in growing “away” from him gives him the security he needs to grow away from me. He’s going through empty nest too.


Courtesy Flickr.com Alipyon

Holy Cow!  Cue “News Flash” music.  Enter voice: We interrupt this blog to bring you an important phone call. C. (that woman who you most often describe as “evil” and “out to get you” but has recently turned over a new and more pleasant leaf) has an important message to deliver; a local housekeeper, and parent of a childhood school mate to your son, is in need of advocacy and I’m putting her on the phone with you now. “I heard you do that kind of thing; I need your help.”

 



Courtesy Flickr.com Art Aspirations

Thank you God. Today’s message is loud and clear: “Do Not Doubt You Are on the Right Path.”

 

It started with a horoscope that said “Some of the paths you are exploring now seem a bit daunting, Aquarius. Don't worry about that- you are in your element now. Enjoy these new connections and paths you are looking into and really, give yourself permission to thrive in the things you're checking out.”

 

And the next thing I know I am helping a local woman whose ex-husband (father of her 5 children, 3 little ones still at home and the oldest only 20) needs a lung transplant. She’s been working alone trying to get him on the national transplant list and there are a few requirements he’s having trouble meeting and she’s thinking positively about future resource needs when he gets on the list. The Universe truly does conspire IN my favor!

 

Courtesy Flickr.com Walkn Boston

 

ANSWER THIS:

 

How have you noticed the Universe conspiring in your favor?

In Organic We Trust

I just watched this documentary, In Organic We Trust; I'm all about making informed (from both sides of an issue) decisions. Based on the title and description, I expected the film to be the con side of the food issue; I know that "organic" does not mean "certified organic", just like "whole wheat" does not mean "100% whole wheat."

This film is inspiring! It was a well balanced documentary that touched on all my buttons, was incredibly informative and educational, and the whole point was about making informed decisions about food by being connected to how it grows, how it is industrialized, and how you can have the best food. Healthy should not be, and does not have to be, only for the wealthy!

This spring/summer is my third gardening year. Every year I learn something new. Gardening has all the emotional benefits of raising a child. My plants are my babies, and they will grow up to change the world. This movie inspires me to share, learn, and teach about my "children"; I think I'll start a new blog. Stay tuned for MonaRAEgrows (or something like that!)