The Mamas and the Papas sang about Monday; I sing about
Sunday. Sunday is the “why” day.
Why do we have a need to understand our place? Why do I feel
so out of place? Why do I seek a purpose as if there actually was one? Why are
we humans so emotionally attached to things we cannot see, and do not know, but
insist on trying to understand?
Here are some beads that I've made in the last couple weeks. I don't like most of them. I guess that is me being in the realm of hell. Will making more beads allow me to "climb out"? Yet again, it is the witch with words I appreciate: “You can define your life by your willingness to take risks. We are in many ways limited only by our courage.” I suppose she means the lack thereof? What does an unlimited life look like? Perhaps it is never asking "why", never satisfying the hunger to "know", understanding the desire but not succumbing, being aware of the risk that the answer lies there....Epiphany: The bible talks about Satan in the tree of knowledge! And then I fall back into the pit of "why" to the ladder of "how"; how does one live "responsibly" at the same time they live an unlimited life? I have a child who means more to me than an unlimited life; perhaps that is the REAL definition of life. Define your life by your willingness to live for another. Doesn't that sound like "religion"?
This week is an interesting week for me. I find myself even closer to God. The Waldo Canyon fires in Colorado is where it began for me. The total commitment to Jesus Christ..the acceptance of Him as my Lord and Saviour. In the Garden of the Gods He appeared to me the night before our church was going to have an outdoor batptism. I was really uncertain. I was in the process of leaving the only religion I knew Catholic. The rituals within this church are so corrupt. The process of scaring children in believing the Catholic ways is immoral. They really didn't care because we were born with Mortal sin and they had to get that out of us through the sacrements. So anyway back to God appearing to me. It was in Garden of the Gods where some of the fires are currently. It was almost like a huge light, a long flowing gown, outstretched arms..the picture that we see of Him it was that. I went back the next day to see about lighting there is no lighting on the rocks we were looking at. My first husband saw something too. I asked him do you see that and he said yes. It was later when we got home that we discovered he had seen something different he saw the cross all lit up. So if you combine my siting and his it represents baptizm, the resurrection of Christ. I went and was baptized the next day. It was in Lake George what I remember the most was the bed of the lake being so squishy. I could hardly stand up i was like in quick sand. I soon as i was baptized the squishiness went away. It was gone no more pulling toward the bottom of the Lake. So for me God is alive and is guiding me through live's dimensions. Love you girl
ReplyDeleteDear Anonymous, thank you for sharing your beautiful experiences. Even though your childhood was forced into a belief, you were blessed to have an experience that one can see as crazy or one can see as spiritual; I'm glad you see it as spiritual. I saw my father's spirit leave his body, literally, the moment he died. I know we are more than what we seem, and there is more to know than this body and its existence allow. Thank you for the love; I don't get enough of that! Sending it back to you, for your bravery to live the life you chose, to expose yourself here, and your sparing a little meaningfulness, that which we can never run out of ... love. Mona
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