Conversations about my favorite beads and lampwork bead makers, jewelry artists, indie and documentary films, gardening, food, Isaac Newton, Pinterest, and The Desire Map, all part of my continuing journey to become a better bead artist and super human being.
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
How to Get What You Need
Today I realized why I’ve been in such a funk. And by funk,
I mean way down deep sad and tired of this life. I have been isolating myself
from the world, from real people.
I’ve been staying home because I cannot
afford to go out. I cannot afford the gas, I cannot afford $5 to play pool, and
I’m constantly worried about money. I feel like I’ve forgotten how to smile and
I just don’t want to subject anyone to that.
Today’s meditation, and yesterday’s visit with my friend
Nancy were very enlightening to me. Today’s meditation focuses on a giving
heart and emphasizes that you almost never give of your heart without receiving
something back; when you are feeling a lack, just give and that feeling will be
resolved. I am a giver of my heart, and my heart relies on being around people,
giving my energy, sharing, and learning. I need to go back to having faith that
what I need will happen for me.
I’ve been feeling in limbo and disappointed that I’m not
getting what I want, and not even sure of what I want. Yesterday I realized
that maybe what I want is not what I need. Maybe I don’t need to conform to the
expectations of others; maybe I don’t need a traditional job. Maybe what I need
is to appreciate myself for someone who can do anything and when I do things I
love doing I am always successful. Maybe I need to remember that great reward
does not come without great risk.
Today I made beads, and for the first time in a long time, I
loved doing it. I followed my heart and allowed no restrictions. I made a coral
black and gray bead, like the dress I mentioned in an earlier post. I made a
bead with lots of texture and explored a new shape. I made a bead that was
inspired by Design Seeds. And I made a bead totally from my own imagination and
that one is going to be soooooooo beautiful! I’m so excited to see them come
out of the kiln tomorrow!
So, with my new found energy for beads, and self, I’m going
to continue with my journey toward social media marketing both in my bead
business and in my professional life. I am not sure what shape it will take,
but I will follow my instincts and unique inspirations and Just. Do. It!