Cleopatra's Conundrum: Scarab Amethyst Necklace

Cleopatra's Conundrum: Scarab Amethyst Necklace

Well, I was almost done with my most recent necklace and then it started developing holes! So, here is a picture of a work in re-progress. I hate making something more than once, but I've changed and maybe now I can more easily see redoing this piece as an opportunity to make it even better. So, I thought I'd show you before I took it all apart.

 The part I've already begun taking apart was where I began. Yes, it's tedious to take apart, but there is $60.00 worth of beads in it! I began with 3 pound Fire Line thread and it quickly developed holes, so I bought some 8 pound. I thought that would be enough to make it last forever, without holes developing. Wrong! So my friend and fellow artist Sue Horine suggested I reach out to Suzanne Golden. What an amazing woman and artist!

Suzanne is as colorful as her pieces, and as generous with her knowledge. When Sue described Suzanne as a mature woman with bright red hair, crazy cool fashion sense (especially her shoes), and a super talented bead weaver, I immediately thought of Betsy Johnson. I know they must be best buds!

Photo: Idiosyncratic Fashionistas

That's Suzanne on the far right. Aren't you immediately in love?!

Here's a sample of her work, and just one doesn't do her portfolio justice! If you want to see more of Suzanne's work, check it out here. I contacted her with my problem on Face book, and she immediately replied with great, new tips for me!






While I'm waiting for my new supplies, I'm planning my next project. In my last post I showed you some of the new beads I received. I can't get the scarabs and amethyst off my mind! My process doesn't usually involve a "plan", and any drawing I might do is on the back of an envelope or napkin. Well, I've changed, I tell ya! I'm so excited about this necklace. It will be in a collar style that is traditional to Egyptian fashion, other than that the concept is all mine inspired by symbols, such as the Egyptian Lily. The lily will be the hardest part of the design because it will require each ring to be hand wrapped with fine copper wire, and I've never painted with lines of beads before! I also still need to decide if I should add the agate fans to the bottom, or some turquoise drops or briolettes, or both. What do you think?

 

Benignly Insane

Here's a picture of my very first Cellini Spiral fashioned into a sparkly necklace for the New Year! I'm ready to make my next one, with more exotic components like seashells, coral, and gemstone chips!

So you know I've been reading The Desire Map, a program written by Danielle LaPorte, instructing the discovery of making Goals with Soul through focus on desires. There are a lot of self-discovery platforms out there right now; that's no surprise as we all seem to be searching for something to replace all the loss we have had in 2012. Yesterday Danielle interviewed Gabrielle Bernstein, author of May Cause Miracles, a step-by-step prescription for adopting a "Mindset of Miracles."

I connected with the "Miracle Response" to "overwhelm", and it inspired me to think about being grateful for things that are inciting me to feel stress.Maybe the reason I feel stress is because of fear for those things, or what they may bring, if I actually desire them; could this thing bring me fame, happiness,success or accomplishment? Am I afraid that achievement forces me to accept that I am worthy and able? If I accept that I am worthy or able, what will I lose, and why am I afraid to lose it?

I'm such a thinker, ain't I?! This morning I watched a documentary called Zeitgeist: Moving Forward. Evidently there is a series of Zeitgeist movies. "Zeitgeist: Moving Forward, by director Peter Joseph, is a feature length documentary work which presents a case for a transition out of the current socioeconomic monetary paradigm which governs the entire world society.

This subject matter transcends the issues of cultural relativism and traditional ideology and moves to relate the core, empirical "life ground" attributes of human and social survival, extrapolating those immutable natural laws into a new sustainable social paradigm called a "Resource-Based Economy"."

It was a difficult movie to watch, both intellectually and emotionally, but I LOVED the ending. Imagine a world without money?What would become "valuable"?  This movies strengthened my desire for self sufficiency and a craving to bring change to my own community toward sustainable living.

The Rusty Chicken on Etsy

And as I went about my day, I was reminded again when I went to the market. On the sidewalk outside, was a gentleman selling his craft out of the back of his truck. His craft was handmade wooden looms. His prices were very good, $50 for a small one and $80 for a large. In his basket he examples of weaving with different fibres, including jute, sisal, and wire. That would definitely be of value in a sustainable, resource-based culture. Resources aren't just what nature provides, but what we do with it, like weaving; our mind is our greatest resource.

LeeLooDallas

On the way home I drove passed a gentleman who was kneeling in a driveway, just kneeling there. My instincts told me to turn around to see if he was okay, and I followed them. By the time I'd come back to where he was, he was walking up the hill, grocery bag in hand; he had just been resting. I rolled down my window and offered to give him a ride. He thanked me but declined, stating he was almost "there." It made me feel good to follow my intuition, to be fearless, to know with absolute certainty that I was safe. Thank you again, Desire Map; so simple to just check into my feelings!

IdiomLive on Wordpress

Speaking of feelings and thinking, I have so many thoughts, and such a desire to share them, and so many ideas, and such a desire to bring them to reality. I am always stopped by the abundance of ideas I have, with old tapes cawing my lack of focus and direction. But ya' know what?! Screw that! I want to keep writing, I want to start a social media marketing/monitoring business, I want to learn more about technology and analysis, I want to be an advocate in the field of education and welfare of all people, I want to find a way for children to build confidence in themselves and see the results in their accomplishments. I want I want I want....I WILL change the world!

Mindy Raff, 2013

Then I started thinking about writing, and how I write about everything, and I need to categorize my subjects, and how I can do that with my website. Then I wonder out of the clear blue, if my mother reads my blog. I decide she doesn't because it probably makes her sad to see me go in so many directions but never get to a profitable destination. Or maybe she does read it but she sees nothing but "crazy". Then I imagine this conversation, "You're so crazy, but you don't see it." Me: "Well, at least my insanity doesn't hurt anyone." Coming back to reality, I laugh out loud and say, "Yeah! I'm benign....benignly insane. (Laughing some more) I WANT to be benignly insane! I want to FEEL benignly insane! I love all the ideas I have and I love my thought process. Yeah, I want to be who I am, benignly insane!"

Have a happy, love filled, creative day!

My New Year's Eve Diary

Hello readers,  I think I want to start a new blog that is more directed toward self discovery and separate that from my bead and jewelry and art blog. I finally created a Cellini Spiral and made a gorgeous necklace out of it for New Years. I will take a picture soon and post. Now I've started another one! I'm also going to be doing a reveal for my Memories Bead Soup very soon! In the mean time, here's a diary entry from my New Years Eve festivities!

I watched Dr. Phil yesterday; he talked about asking oneself “What am I serving with this thought/action?” I fell onto The Secret movie this morning; it brings home manifestation of what you want through feelings and visualization and changing attitudes to those of abundance or presence. I see the connection with The Desire Map. I have already realized that the simple thoughts of my desire for feelings manifest very quickly in my life.

I was a little afraid to go out by myself on New Year’s Eve. I wanted to feel “beautiful” and as I was putting on makeup and deciding what to wear, my inner dialogue was saying “not TOO beautiful, not TOO noticeable, not TOO intimidating” and the reply was “I want to be beautiful because I want to be seen, I want to be admired, the “too” is someone else’s judgment, not my own. I desire to be beautiful and seen.” I also reminded myself that I desire community and feeling connected. I was worried that I wouldn’t feel welcomed by people I already knew and that I would not have a desired place to sit at dinner. I also desired to have enough money and not spend more than I had; at the time I thought I had $10.00. I had only $5 and that was all I ended up needing all night long!

When I walked into the lodge, I was immediately greeted by friends, with hugs, and kisses, and compliments on how beautiful I looked. I walked through saying “Happy New Year” and giving hugs. I walked into the dining room because I wanted to greet the wife of a friend; as I looked around I didn’t see anyone else I knew and worried a little about where I would sit and hoped I would receive an invitation. I quickly retreated into the smoking room, and took a breath of relief that no one was there and that I was alone. Then I went back into the dining room where even more had gathered. I saw some friends at a table with seats open and when I got there, there were names reserving the empty seats, however the people already sitting said, no these are open, and invited me to stay; I felt wanted. That feeling lasted the rest of the night. We had a wonderful dinner and took our bottle of champagne with us into the social quarters where they were doing Karaoke. As I looked for a place to sit, I was asked to join the same group I had dinner with. As they pulled out a chair, specifically for me, I felt wanted. I sang from my seat as did my table mates, wanting to hold the microphone, but feeling that I didn’t want to be that noticeable, I remained, content to sing from my seat. I took time to wander and mingle as well. Eventually, I did sing with the microphone, and was a little embarrassed by the surprise and adulation. I had an immensely good time.

After leaving I stopped at the resort lounge on the way home. Some of my favorite people were there, and a drink was bought for me. I got lots of truly beautiful hugs and thoroughly enjoyed people watching; I even danced by myself in the huge crowd. At one point I noticed a gentleman who had been waiting for service a loooooong time; I told the bar tender and she served him right away and he was happy. 

I noticed another friend I hadn’t seen in a long time as he was being served across the bar; I got his attention and toasted the air to him. He came over and gave me a biiiiiig hug. This young man is very different, and very young, and all the compliments he had given me in the past seemed less than genuine, but he STILL gave them this night, and they were truly genuine, and I didn’t feel embarrassed or the need to make excuses; I just accepted them as truth, like a gift, and felt grateful. 

I had been noticing another man; he resembled the Unabomber a little, always wearing his hoodie on his head. He wandered back and forth, sometimes seeming like he wanted my attention; I avoid people, men, who want my attention because I think they only want sex. Toward the end of the evening I noticed this same man, sitting in a chair, looking somewhat in pain. I noticed someone else looking at him as well, but with great caution and fear more than concern. I walked over to the young man whose hood was over his head and his head was buried in his arms, like a shield from things he did not want to see or hear. I just asked him if he was going to be okay, and did he have someone who would take care of him. He looked up and said, “Thank you SO much for asking; you have no idea how that makes me feel, you have no idea how important to me it is.” I hugged him tightly, and looked authentically into his face, grateful but wordless for the acknowledgement. I touched his cheek, and was amazed at how soft his skin was and how contradictory that softness was to his appearance. I asked him if he had people in the bar that he was with or was he alone; he assured me he was not alone so I felt that he was safe. I told the bartender to watch out for him and keep others away from him that might do him harm; she understood completely and perfectly and with great intention promised her guard. 

Earlier there was a woman, about 15 years older than myself, and as she went to the bar to order she was singing and dancing. I saw her again, dancing her heart out. When the band was done for the night I was leaving, and this woman was helping the band load their equipment into the van outside. From a 20 foot distance I stopped, turned around, pointed at her, and yelled, “Woman, you ROCK!” She was floored, and so incredibly grateful, and said, “You have no idea what that means to me. Thank you sister.” And I went toward her, hugged her tightly, thanked her for the opportunity to let her know, and thanked her for acknowledging how much I meant to her. I felt so good, so joyous, so loving and so loved.

That day I had talked about advocacy as a core desire, but struggled with a single word for the “feeling” of advocacy. I manifested within myself the response of advocacy where ever I went that evening. I manifested beauty, love, community, and connection. I felt love and joy and graciousness. I felt sooooo good.

I noticed last week or so that I could identify characteristics that I was not already, and realized that I needed to focus on feelings that I want MORE of, not that I want to create from scratch. I need to look at what I already feel and desire more of it, rather than what I lack. It isn’t about finding the perfect word, it’s about finding the perfect feeling and describing it with words and then declaring that I want more of that feeling and then visualizing that in my world and what the world looks like with me in it “that way.”