WeDesire WeDnesday: Desire Map

In December, 2012, I began reading The Desire Map by Danielle LaPorte. I first noticed Danielle in 2009 when she was writing a blog called White Hot Truth. That title perfectly describes the authenticity with which Danielle speaks. From there she introduced Your Big Beautiful Book Plan, then The Fire Starter Sessions, and now she has gifted the world (sounds mushy I know but the love I feel for her work warrants mushiness!) with The Desire Map.

The Desire Map is a holistic approach to planning your life. It guides you to identify your core desired feelings, and to use those feelings as the drivers of what you want to do, have and experience in your life.

It turns goal-setting inside out.

The Desire Map is a multimedia program. It comes with a PRINTED book (it’s embossed, even!) a downloadable book, audio book, a series of audio contemplations; a private, online Desire Map space; an app, and 12 weeks of weekly inspiration to help people make desire-mapping a true practice.

If you haven't already read my posts about the Desire Map, let me share with you that it is a new way of thinking for me; it is a way of making decisions and "goals with soul". The premise is that we are conditioned to make decisions and goals based on what we think we will feel when we achieve them. The Desire Map makes one aware that they can feel that way right now; it helps me realize that what I think I will feel later, I can feel now, if I make "how I want to feel now" a priority. Instead of waiting to feel whole and complete I can feel that way now and along the way to my goals, by doing the things that make me feel that way.

Here; I'll let Danielle tell you

Friday, May 24, is Danielle's birthday. Her gift to you is a "pay what you can" day for The Desire Map program. With the program you receive a paper copy of the book and access online to the digital download, music play lists, weekly support emails from Danielle, and some other nice goodies. There is even a support group on Facebook that you can check out right now; you don't have to own The Desire Map to join the group (it is a public group) so check it out here. You can also play this audio; it is a reading by Danielle of her introductory chapter of the book!

Don't worry that it's a gimmick (it's not.) Don't worry that you will be obligated to buy more (everything you need is in one package.) Don't worry that what you can pay is not enough (it is.) You know you found this post today for a reason; believe in it.

Wouldn't it feel good to feel good about everything you decide to do? Decide to accept Danielle's gift and get your blessing; pay what you can. CLICK HERE to get your blessing.

My New Year's Eve Diary

Hello readers,  I think I want to start a new blog that is more directed toward self discovery and separate that from my bead and jewelry and art blog. I finally created a Cellini Spiral and made a gorgeous necklace out of it for New Years. I will take a picture soon and post. Now I've started another one! I'm also going to be doing a reveal for my Memories Bead Soup very soon! In the mean time, here's a diary entry from my New Years Eve festivities!

I watched Dr. Phil yesterday; he talked about asking oneself “What am I serving with this thought/action?” I fell onto The Secret movie this morning; it brings home manifestation of what you want through feelings and visualization and changing attitudes to those of abundance or presence. I see the connection with The Desire Map. I have already realized that the simple thoughts of my desire for feelings manifest very quickly in my life.

I was a little afraid to go out by myself on New Year’s Eve. I wanted to feel “beautiful” and as I was putting on makeup and deciding what to wear, my inner dialogue was saying “not TOO beautiful, not TOO noticeable, not TOO intimidating” and the reply was “I want to be beautiful because I want to be seen, I want to be admired, the “too” is someone else’s judgment, not my own. I desire to be beautiful and seen.” I also reminded myself that I desire community and feeling connected. I was worried that I wouldn’t feel welcomed by people I already knew and that I would not have a desired place to sit at dinner. I also desired to have enough money and not spend more than I had; at the time I thought I had $10.00. I had only $5 and that was all I ended up needing all night long!

When I walked into the lodge, I was immediately greeted by friends, with hugs, and kisses, and compliments on how beautiful I looked. I walked through saying “Happy New Year” and giving hugs. I walked into the dining room because I wanted to greet the wife of a friend; as I looked around I didn’t see anyone else I knew and worried a little about where I would sit and hoped I would receive an invitation. I quickly retreated into the smoking room, and took a breath of relief that no one was there and that I was alone. Then I went back into the dining room where even more had gathered. I saw some friends at a table with seats open and when I got there, there were names reserving the empty seats, however the people already sitting said, no these are open, and invited me to stay; I felt wanted. That feeling lasted the rest of the night. We had a wonderful dinner and took our bottle of champagne with us into the social quarters where they were doing Karaoke. As I looked for a place to sit, I was asked to join the same group I had dinner with. As they pulled out a chair, specifically for me, I felt wanted. I sang from my seat as did my table mates, wanting to hold the microphone, but feeling that I didn’t want to be that noticeable, I remained, content to sing from my seat. I took time to wander and mingle as well. Eventually, I did sing with the microphone, and was a little embarrassed by the surprise and adulation. I had an immensely good time.

After leaving I stopped at the resort lounge on the way home. Some of my favorite people were there, and a drink was bought for me. I got lots of truly beautiful hugs and thoroughly enjoyed people watching; I even danced by myself in the huge crowd. At one point I noticed a gentleman who had been waiting for service a loooooong time; I told the bar tender and she served him right away and he was happy. 

I noticed another friend I hadn’t seen in a long time as he was being served across the bar; I got his attention and toasted the air to him. He came over and gave me a biiiiiig hug. This young man is very different, and very young, and all the compliments he had given me in the past seemed less than genuine, but he STILL gave them this night, and they were truly genuine, and I didn’t feel embarrassed or the need to make excuses; I just accepted them as truth, like a gift, and felt grateful. 

I had been noticing another man; he resembled the Unabomber a little, always wearing his hoodie on his head. He wandered back and forth, sometimes seeming like he wanted my attention; I avoid people, men, who want my attention because I think they only want sex. Toward the end of the evening I noticed this same man, sitting in a chair, looking somewhat in pain. I noticed someone else looking at him as well, but with great caution and fear more than concern. I walked over to the young man whose hood was over his head and his head was buried in his arms, like a shield from things he did not want to see or hear. I just asked him if he was going to be okay, and did he have someone who would take care of him. He looked up and said, “Thank you SO much for asking; you have no idea how that makes me feel, you have no idea how important to me it is.” I hugged him tightly, and looked authentically into his face, grateful but wordless for the acknowledgement. I touched his cheek, and was amazed at how soft his skin was and how contradictory that softness was to his appearance. I asked him if he had people in the bar that he was with or was he alone; he assured me he was not alone so I felt that he was safe. I told the bartender to watch out for him and keep others away from him that might do him harm; she understood completely and perfectly and with great intention promised her guard. 

Earlier there was a woman, about 15 years older than myself, and as she went to the bar to order she was singing and dancing. I saw her again, dancing her heart out. When the band was done for the night I was leaving, and this woman was helping the band load their equipment into the van outside. From a 20 foot distance I stopped, turned around, pointed at her, and yelled, “Woman, you ROCK!” She was floored, and so incredibly grateful, and said, “You have no idea what that means to me. Thank you sister.” And I went toward her, hugged her tightly, thanked her for the opportunity to let her know, and thanked her for acknowledging how much I meant to her. I felt so good, so joyous, so loving and so loved.

That day I had talked about advocacy as a core desire, but struggled with a single word for the “feeling” of advocacy. I manifested within myself the response of advocacy where ever I went that evening. I manifested beauty, love, community, and connection. I felt love and joy and graciousness. I felt sooooo good.

I noticed last week or so that I could identify characteristics that I was not already, and realized that I needed to focus on feelings that I want MORE of, not that I want to create from scratch. I need to look at what I already feel and desire more of it, rather than what I lack. It isn’t about finding the perfect word, it’s about finding the perfect feeling and describing it with words and then declaring that I want more of that feeling and then visualizing that in my world and what the world looks like with me in it “that way.”

The Horseman Found Her Head

I get SO much when I watch documentary films, when I desire to learn. This morning's film was Murder By Proxy: How America Went Postal.

JWho do you know, that you do not know? Who are the walking dead among you? Who are the people you see, but have never spoken, not even a word, to? Who are the people you have never acknowledged the presence of with even a gesture? These are the walking dead; we must bring them into the light and life that we call society. We must let them know that they are seen. YOU CAN make a difference in the life of another by spending a single second to smile, to lift your head, to lift your hand, to lift your voice, to acknowledge only the sight of anothers’ existence on this planet; you have an infinite supply of this kind of energy, your heart does not have to be in it, however it will surely be infected. You have ENOUGH to give; you will not, CAN NOT, run out of it.

Our society is one that presently runs on a scarcity mentality. The wealthiest of our society don’t want to “go over the fiscal cliff” because it means they will have less, as if there isn’t enough. The employed in society now must have the skills of many to keep their job, because there aren’t enough jobs to go around. The employers in our society must hire fewer employees, and demand more from them, because there isn’t enough money to accomplish all they want to do and stay in business. Students must work at home and forsake their childhood because they must be competitive in order to get an education in order to be successful in the work place of the future. Teachers must forsake  teaching the pleasures of discovery because they are being measured by the quantity of knowledge their students gain, rather than the quality of their teaching. And this competitiveness goes down to the youngest of ages; measurement of the human condition begins at birth with an apgar score.

Strange Fruit by WarUnderground.DeviantArt.com

Darwin’s survival of the fittest is a knowledge that fails our society because we fail to appropriately define what is fit; we are afraid that if everyone is “fit” we will run out of anything, and everything. Yet, many in our society question the natural selection determined by the actions of people we “didn’t see coming.” The so-called mass murderers of our society are people who have been unseen, under-served, over worked, and have a self-perception that they are “nothing”. I truly feel the key to solving the problem of mass shootings lies in that perception.

Callum Mcinerney Riley

When one feels they have nothing left to lose, they are expressing the perception of the ultimate scarcity; they have run out, emptied, their reasons for living. They have been pushed out, stolen from, ignored, and neglected by a society that has taken their most important resource…significance. So they go out in a way that forces society to recognize them. They have immeasurable faith that this recognition will happen; they don’t need to be on this Earth to verify that recognition. Society would like to believe that mass murderers kill themselves out of shame for their actions; perhaps the truth is that these murderers want to shame society for forcing them into a position to take their own place in a significant way. Many would describe this attitude as “entitled.”

"an inflated view of the self"

“Entitlement” is a word brought to the forefront of the 2012 presidential elections. Mitt Romney is described to have said “47%” that feel “entitled” to handouts as the bane of society and the reason for our economic problems; this implies that we don’t have enough to respond to those who are “entitled”. After the election, the word “entitlement” was applied, by the very same people who created it as a negative thing, as a positive word in order to protect the material wealth of those who would be effected by the “fiscal cliff.”

There is one thing we are all entitled to as individuals, and that thing is to breathe. There is one thing we are all entitled to as members of society, and that thing is significance; we all matter.

Brainstuck.com

I want to get back to the point and what we can do about it. The point is that we ignore people because we perceive that we don’t have enough time, money, energy, opportunity, or whatever, to do otherwise; we have a mindset of scarcity. Perhaps, what we don’t understand is that what we need to give is actually a very minuscule amount. Think about what it is or has been in your own life that made you feel significant at any given moment; think about what your life would be like if you had NEVER received any recognition from another person.

I suppose one might say, “I’ve given myself the recognition I need in order to move forward to gain what I want.” I’d like to offer the story of the Christmas Carol; what would have happened if Mr. Scrooge had continued to believe that he never needed anyone and that no one should need him? We are a society; society is nothing without connection between its parts. If we continue to be selfish with our recognition of others, we will no longer be a society. What happens when everyone feels entitled to be so self-ish? The answer is right there in front of you today, in the news.

AwkwardRules.net

Perhaps the “Zombie Apocalypse” is already upon us; Zombies want one thing, for themselves, with absolutely no concern for any other…they want to eat. Zombie’s have the ultimate scarcity mentality. And as the individual Zombies bite and spread the disease, we can counter that by individually changing our mentality to one of abundance. Redefine what is important and essential for life. Redefine life. Redefine love. Redefine happiness. If these things are only conceptual, then we have an infinite amount of resources to redefine these concepts over, and over throughout time.

I want to change the world. I want to change the world. I want to change the world. I want to change the world’s perception of its most important renewable resource: acknowledgement. We can not run out of acknowledgment, which can take many forms, but in order to be realized it MUST be given. I’ll repeat, it MUST be G I V E N!

We acknowledge individuals and that is how a society is born. We acknowledge with a physical gesture; we cannot run out of the ability to acknowledge. But to “mine” that resource we must GIVE it. We do not feel acknowledged unless someone spends the energy to give it to us. We do not feel loved unless someone spends the energy to give love. We do not feel significant if no one spends the energy to acknowledge us.

I want to change the world. I want to change the world. I want to change the world. I want people to acknowledge others. I want people to identify, and convert, the walking dead. I want people to inoculate the walking dead with acknowledgement. I want to advocate for the walking dead.

My New Year’s resolution for 2013: I declare that I will advocate for the walking dead in our schools, in our work places, in our community, in all areas of society. I declare that I will build an army of advocates. I want to feel infectious. I want to feel abundant. I want to feel acknowledged and acknowledging. I know this is HUGE HUGE HUGE; this desire is on a GLOBAL scale. I also have an inner dialogue that says my desires are global because I’m afraid to feel, and feeling from one to another is unbearably painful. But I have enough, I am enough, both globally and individually. I am complete, and expanding, like the universe.

TheSacredQuotidian.Blogspot.Com

I am crying at this moment. I am feeling such a power in my heart and chest and mind. The words echoing, without cease, “That’s exactly what I want to do, that’s exactly what I want to do”. And though it is a “to do” it is driven by the feeling I get when I think about doing it. The feeling is almost indescribable, but it has a physical effect. My heart is tight, and tears just come without thinking. I put my face in my hands as if in grateful prayer; finally, there is a desire without doubt, unmotivated by a feeling of lack or scarcity or comparison.

This was not motivated by trying to “do” the Desire Map; the Desire Map has “sparked” a current that was present and flowing. The Desire Map is like a storm that floods the stream in my soul that has been faithfully flowing since the existence of time in this Universe. This is Joy, on such a ridiculous and literally insane level, almost embarrassing, threatening to release the horsemen of self-consciousness and self-deprecation that would corral the creatures of my heart into the pen of normalcy, acceptability, and predictability. At this very moment, I realize that one of those creatures has been rescued by the Desire Map, rearing to the rescue; that creature is safety, and it is freed like the Black Stallion, and it will return to the corral again and again until all my creatures are free.

Cookies, Cats, Cards, Copper, and Care

Good morning. Made my first Christmas cookies yesterday. Thanks mom for the cookie cutter; perfect for Raspberry Linzers!

Two things came up for me this morning while checking into Facebook: 1) I don't like it, I don't like it A LOT when people use The Desire Map page to promote their commercial endeavors 2) I don't speak up when I am offended, a lot of the time, because I feel the need to question my judgment (not it's accuracy, just that I should have a judgment against another.) Both of these things seem related, so I'm just going to ramble on and see what comes of my feelings.

TheWritersGuideToEpublishing.com

There is a person who posts "answers" without bothering to read the post. I judge them, and I'm annoyed by their "expert" tone. I feel that they are inauthentic and just trying to get noticed rather than really caring about the person they are advising. I ask myself, "Who is X?! Are they part of Danielle's team? How can they be so disrespectful?!"

SmallGroupOfThoughtfulPeople.com

 At some point, rather soon in the process, I ask myself, "Why does this bother me so much? Am I recognizing myself and something I don't like about myself?" I know a lot of people find "authority" when I speak, and honestly I'm not comfortable with that. I don't want to come off like I'm irrefutable; I want to be refute. I'm just thinking out loud and working it out for myself even as I speak. Yes, I start with a kernel of knowledge, but I never feel I'm absolutely right, and would much rather have the conversation that could alter my opinion and knowledge. I'm about teaching and learning, and the most important thing any of us can teach or learn is critical thinking.

And now I must ask myself, "Why am I not comfortable with being "right" or an "authority"? I know a lot about why, but don't want to get that close to the truth at this moment. And why do I feel the need to question my wholeness if I judge another? It's human to be judgmental, and sometimes that judgment protects me. But I want to be more than "just human." And, perhaps, there is a possibility that by not be open about my judgments I am stopping another from a lesson to be learned. Am I arrogant and selfish at heart, and knowing it I go to extremes to show the opposite? Or perhaps I am humble and generous, and knowing it I do not always express myself? I guess that is up to me and what I want to make it mean about myself.

Oracle Card by Jodie Harvala & Crew

 How do I want to feel, when I express my opinions that might hurt others, or come across as authoritative? When do I want to be authoritative? How do I want to feel when I am authoritative? No, that question is about how others receive my authority; powerful is a motivating feeling for authoritative. Do I want to be powerful, do I want to FEEL powerful? Do I want to have power over others?

Cellini Spiral

So now, I'll let those words marinate in the rest of my day. I'm actually going to start a Cellini spiral, and I've reduced my expectations of perfection and decided to just find a single color of bead that I like and find a pallet that uses it on Design Seeds, and choose the rest of my beads from there.

Filagree Ring and Lampwork Bead MonaRAEbeads.com

 I'm also going to make a pair of earrings that match this ring I made as a gift for a friend who has been true and loving.

Rock Recipes

I'm also going to make these cookies, which I imagine I've had before and when I had them loooooong ago, I loved them.

Waiting for the "Storm" to come that should have been here in the wee hours and shows no signs of coming until the moment I really don't want it to! (I just reread this; it was initially a literal statement! Here's the perfect picture!)

Waiting for the Storm, Enigma-theory DeviantArt.com

Have a wonderful day all!