What are you Hungry for?

I want to create a curriculum for youth and teens through Hungry For Change Mastery Program. I want to use crowd sourcing to fund the curriculum. I want to go to schools, I want to train teachers, I want to create a research study for the effectiveness, I want to see and address obstacles to changing habits and mindset for these age groups.

Awakened at 4:30 a.m., for the 3rd or 4th time tonight, I decided to stay up. I tuned into Netflix and among the choices recommended specifically for me was yet another "food" movie; "Oh well." I decided to numb myself with yet another documentary. So glad I did!

I could worry that all these documentaries I watch continue to inspire me, but in a precarious direction toward too many interests and not enough focus and even less action. Wow, did I just say that? I just defined, literally, what keeps me from feeling satisfied in life: the sense of too much, while craving abundance, and feeling overwhelmed to the point where NOTHING happens. But there is a difference these days; I'm focused on recognizing my feelings...I'm finally looking at myself with the same ease of sight that I have with other people.

AJ Matharu

With others I am empathic; it's almost funny how that thought comes up A LOT in the last few days. With the last paragraph, I now realize that I can be empathic with myself! And THAT is the point of the very end of Hungry for Change: You have to love yourself. So cliche, right? As a matter of fact, so much of this movie is seemingly cliche, but as with all truths in life, they are cliche until they are finally seen as truthful and real. My immediate thought after that realization is, "How much of this did I already know, for how long did I know it, and how different my life could have been if I'd accepted it back then!?!" Then of course, I think of my son and need him to see it now, to avoid the "not knowing" of it, and the lessons that lead us to acceptance of the cliche.

So, my blocks to taking the lessons of Hungry for Change into life's reality, revolve around abundance. I don't have enough money to buy whole foods and vegetables, I don't have a juicer, I don't have enough knowledge to make it work, I don't want to give up carbs like bread, pasta, and cookies, I don't have the discipline, I don't really have the mind set I need if I'm thinking that it takes discipline.

RobotRoom.com

One of the biggest aha moments of the movie, with the deepest meaning, is that the body's response to life is inflammation and protection through the creation of mucus and fat. Another aha moment was the discussion that when we change our mindset of adding to our diet instead of taking away, things occur naturally. Another aha...visualization is the way we communicate with our brain, not with words of language. To sum it up, this movie tells you what you already know, in a way that helps you accept it and desire to implement it because it motivates you to stop doing the damage to yourself, your psyche and ego, that results in more self loathing and more symptoms of it. You ARE your worst critic and enemy, but it doesn't have to be difficult or painful to flip that switch to "forward".

Abundant Goddess Event

So moving forward, I want to feel safe, I want to love myself, I want to feel like there is enough, I want to feel "Plentiful", I want to feel "Abundant", I want to feel "Activated". I think I'll talk to my friend from Real Raw and Rowdy, Amy Elias, about foods and how to keep the carbohydrate foods in a healthy way. I'm also going onto Free Cycle to request a juicer. I'm also going to start a wish list for this spring's garden. I'm also going to do a mind map for my curriculum idea. And, finally, I'm going to see if an idea I have for my website will work.

Today is Sunday, people! Love yourself, as you love your God...you ARE God! Oh, so you want proof? Here it is....

Eskimo Nebula, Universe Today

Yesterday I thought randomly of my friend Jo; I've never met Jo in person but there is a spiritual connection between us that has continued online for about 3 or 4 years. This morning I watched Hungry for Change to immense effect. As soon as I'm done writing about it in this blog, Jo PMs me (it's only 6:30 and the Sun still isn't up). Jo and I talk about her grand daughter, I talked about Hungry for Change as a suggestion for some relief for her grand daughter, and she introduces me to a friend of her's, Linda the HealthAngel weight coach, and would I be interested in checking out a free seminar/program online that her friend is starting today that is all around health and disease resistance/correction through nutrition. How GODLIKE is that?!

So Hum (I am)

Accentuate the Positive

Just need to write about my adventure in #DesireMap. Woke at 3:33 am (what a number huh?!). Layed (is that the right spelling for the meaning?!) in bed, mind occupied on the past (negative memories) for an hour. Decided to have breakfast and engage in reading more of Danielle LaPorte's Desire Map.

Being aware is exhausting some times. I'm aware of all that I need to do today. I'm aware of all that I want to do today. There is nothing that I DON'T want to do, but it seems there's not enough day to do it all, AND considering I was up at such an early hour, there won't be enough energy to do it all. Sigh.

I'm aware that reading Desire Map is exciting me, driving me, inspiring me. I'm aware that while I want to swallow it whole, I NEED to slow down and digest. It isn't that I fear choking, but rather I desire to be nourished and grow. And just as those words are "drying" I get it....I get IT. Yeah me!

I was arguing with myself about taking the time to write, and now I'm so glad I did. This is an example of how doing what makes me feel good, rather making my goals according to my desires, gives positive results. And I also recognize, in this moment, that happened very, very, VERY quickly, with MINIMAL EFFORT....boy, that's just the way I like my equation for "Effort".

Photo Courtesy of Kali Segrino.blogspot.com

Glad I'm taking it slowly because I also discovered what my body does when a feeling is "real". It happened when I read "Kali Mama Goddess". It's the word "Kali" that literally squeezed my heart, put pressure on my sinuses, and caused tears to well; I felt recognition. I have a tapestry hanging on my studio wall of Kali. The colors are beautiful and brilliant and audacious, as is the subject.




On a final note, one of the chapters is titled "Accentuate the Positive." Here's what my memory immediately recalled.

More Than a Pretty Face

I love Pinterest! It's not just a bulletin board on which to pin pretty pictures; it is a place to communicate ideas and inspirations in all areas of creativity. I have had a need to create all my life and when I can't do it, I dream of doing it.

When I was a little girl I used to make puzzles by making a huge drawing on multiple sheets of binder paper. The only one I remember was of a nude woman; I think my grandmother found it and I got in trouble for it. I've always been fascinated by the human body, especially the mechanics of it; I guess that's why I used to dream of being an investigative coroner ala "Quincy" and why I love making goddess beads.

Teresa Laliberte is my Goddess Bead Muse

 I remember in Junior High School I would make replica drawings of the fruit that was on paper lunch sacks and my friends would ask me to make duplicates for them. I still love the bright colors and balloon shapes of fruit; maybe that's why I like beads by Heather Trimlett. I also remember learning to sew, and being pretty good at it; and I remember being the Queen of Hearts in the school fashion show/play (I wanted to keep forever my self designed and created playing card costume!)

Beads by Heather Trimlett

Courtesy How To Draw Cartoon

All along the way I liked to
save all my markers and crayons and I had a penchant for quirky ink pens; I still have scores of them! One of my favorite gifts was from a friend of my mothers, for whom I used to babysit; it was a book of geometric shapes, drawn like fractals, and I would color the designs I saw in them.

SO MANY inspirational color books on Amazon!

 For the last year I've dreamed of deviating from glass bead making and going back to seed beading/weaving. I am so inspired by Zen Tangle drawings. I've also loved the art of Mary Engelbrecht, which I was reminded of today by the following video....which I found on Pinterest!

Before I show you the video, I want to share with you my experiences of creating. More specifically, I want to show you my experiences with road blocks. This video shows me that I've been standing in my own way all along. I know what I love and how it makes me feel to do what I love. When people call me an artist, however, I shrink back from the compliment and deny any possibility of it being the truth. I am driven to create by my emotions, my passion for colors, and shapes, and details. I constantly accuse myself of not being able to control my use of those elements I love, that I don't know when to stop, when enough is enough, and in the process I ruin my "art". I know I am not alone in this feeling, so if you are with me, and you feel the same way, I'm here to tell you, I've found proof that we are so wrong about ourselves!

This video is amazing. This artist, Rach of ArtfulEvidence, is amazing. She uses a million techniques and as she creates she is fearless in her continued pursuit of what she enjoys, not being dependent on what the outcome is but only what is happening in the moment. She makes a beautiful start with color and technique and proceeds to evolve and develop and add more, more, more, and at no point is it ruined, or destroyed, or "too much". It is layer upon layer of joy and experience and giving into desire to add another color, another detail, another technique. And I kept saying, "When will she stop?! WHY will she stop?! Yes! That's the important question, Why?!" Funny, I wrote that "I've found proof" before I knew her Etsy and Blog name, "Artful Evidence"! Get it? GET IT!!!