Accentuate the Positive

Just need to write about my adventure in #DesireMap. Woke at 3:33 am (what a number huh?!). Layed (is that the right spelling for the meaning?!) in bed, mind occupied on the past (negative memories) for an hour. Decided to have breakfast and engage in reading more of Danielle LaPorte's Desire Map.

Being aware is exhausting some times. I'm aware of all that I need to do today. I'm aware of all that I want to do today. There is nothing that I DON'T want to do, but it seems there's not enough day to do it all, AND considering I was up at such an early hour, there won't be enough energy to do it all. Sigh.

I'm aware that reading Desire Map is exciting me, driving me, inspiring me. I'm aware that while I want to swallow it whole, I NEED to slow down and digest. It isn't that I fear choking, but rather I desire to be nourished and grow. And just as those words are "drying" I get it....I get IT. Yeah me!

I was arguing with myself about taking the time to write, and now I'm so glad I did. This is an example of how doing what makes me feel good, rather making my goals according to my desires, gives positive results. And I also recognize, in this moment, that happened very, very, VERY quickly, with MINIMAL EFFORT....boy, that's just the way I like my equation for "Effort".

Photo Courtesy of Kali Segrino.blogspot.com

Glad I'm taking it slowly because I also discovered what my body does when a feeling is "real". It happened when I read "Kali Mama Goddess". It's the word "Kali" that literally squeezed my heart, put pressure on my sinuses, and caused tears to well; I felt recognition. I have a tapestry hanging on my studio wall of Kali. The colors are beautiful and brilliant and audacious, as is the subject.




On a final note, one of the chapters is titled "Accentuate the Positive." Here's what my memory immediately recalled.

Feeeeelings, Wooooah Feeeeeelings (Sing it y'all!)

I have been feeling static, stuck, unambitious, and unsuccessful. I have been feeling lost. I have been feeling as if I have no feelings…apathetic.

I’ve always been a huge fan of Danielle LaPorte and her “White, Hot Truth”. She’s the author of Firestarter Sessions, but I have not taken part in that program. Danielle’s words have always resonated with me. Yesterday she launched a new program called Desire Map; it is my mom’s Christmas present to me ($170 in 3 payments, delivered today both digitally and tangibly), and will become my present to my son on his 16^th birthday.

Danielle says, “We have the procedures of achievement upside down. We go after the stuff we want to have, get, accomplish, and experience outside of ourselves. And we hope, yearn, pray that we’ll be fulfilled when we get there. It’s backwards. It’s outside in. And it’s running us in circles.

What if, first, we got clear on how we actually wanted to feel in our life, and then we laid out our intentions? What if your most desired feelings consciously informed how you plan your day, your year, your career, your holidays — your life?”

I think she’s on to something here! My feelings are all wrapped around not achieving, to my satisfaction. Maybe my feelings are the way they are because I’m not setting my satisfaction as a goal; maybe its because I don’t know what will satisfy me. I have been stuck most painfully in the knowledge that I don’t know what I want.

Danielle’s program will coach me through a process that helps me get clear on how I want to feel in my life, and set my goals according to my “core desires.” For me, this is an “ah ha!” realization: of course this is the way it should be! 

I’ll try to take you with me through my self realizations. In the mean time, I want to share a couple video’s with you. If you want to know more about the program, please click here. 

(1:02) Desire More : Danielle LaPorte : Video Poem from Danielle LaPorte on Vimeo.

This  video is about an hour long and is a workshop video of Goals With Soul. It gives a real feel for the program purpose. If you want to know more about the program, please click here.