|The Desire Map|
When asked, "If you could have one wish" I always respond, "to see myself through the eyes of others." If I look at what I've been hiding, will I be able to see myself through the eyes of others? Will I be able to grant my own wish?
I don't want people to know how different I am, because I don't want to feel alone, I don't want them to be repelled from me. If I hide my "weirdness" enough I will be rewarded with friendship and socialization.
I don't want people to know how afraid I am, because I don't want my fear to keep me from being included, because I don't want my fear to invite others to quell or counsel me (because I know they will not understand what it is I fear), because I don't want to take their energy from them. If I hide my fear, I am rewarded with my own delusion that others perceive me as courageous and energetic and self reliant.
I am accepted. I want to accept THAT. I bet they want me to accept that too. I bet all those people who see the me I've been hiding, wish I would see that the ALL that I am is whole, complete, loving, giving, nurturing, vulnerable, courageous, intelligent, powerful and worthy of connection and love and empathy. I know I haven't thanked you for knowing ALL that I am....thank you for waiting for me to say it, thank you for waiting for me to see it.